Monday, October 6, 2008

Post Honeymoon Faith

Church-hopping, moving to a new city, examining my faith, trying out new relationships, beginning a new job, disciplining children, lesson planning for hours each day, managing my finances, and dealing with post-graduate life are all enough to leave me utterly exhausted recently. And as I feel I am missing something - the true community, reverence, worship, that comes from joining a church - I also feel like I've had my optimism and joy beaten out of me every time I visit someplace new.

I am absolutely tired of hearing your salvation story, your altar call, your version of what Jesus Christ did for me.

I don't give a damn why or how you became a Christian. Chances are very good that I already know.

I want to know how you keep being one.

After the salvation high, after the lust-with-Christ phase, after disappointment, and heartbreak, and failure, and lonesomeness, after all the excitement is lost and what you're left with is a day-t0-day commitment, a daily struggle, waking up to the same God and church that falls utterly short of God's glory. When you're left facing a struggling, hurting, cynical, impoverished, diseased, illiterate, intolerant, unhappy world. Facing a hipocritical, money-driven, judgemental, dry, lukewarm Church . . .

I want to know what you do then. Then, when you wake up alone, in a new city, with a new job and a new life and a soul full of doubts.

In that place, I want to know how to be a Christian. I want someone to show me how to walk that faith.

I know what it's like to fall in love with Jesus. I want to know what to do about the rest of the journey.

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